i have a crush. as random and schoolgirl a statement that may seem, it’s a huge milestone to me and i want to scream it from the nearest roof top to who ever will listen. it’s been a really rough road for me since boston. he’s a heartache i never quite recovered from and i’ll readily admit it’s because i’ve had no desire to do so. but, in all fairness, he’s never fully let me go. it’s been a game. a last grasp on a dream that i know will never come to fruition. i can date, i can flirt, i can pretend … but never has he been far from my thoughts. until now.
i can pretty much guarantee that not a thing will come of this crush. not only is he NOTHING i’m looking for in a man, i’m guessing i wouldn’t exactly be his type either. we have little interaction … once every couple of weeks in passing. and honestly the first handful of times i saw him i had no interest whatsoever. but last week something changed. and i’m not sure why. suddenly my every thought was about him. his goofy smile. his sparkling eyes. his awkward run. his character and strength. he’s one of the good guys. solid. real. i’ve never looked for a man to protect me. i’ve never defined prince charming as a savior. yet i imagine his arms around me and what most comes to mind is safety and comfort.
maybe this is the start. the breaking down of the wall i so adamantly deny i hide behind. maybe i’m coming to see that i can be a strong woman and still need a strong man. i can be silly and giddy and stupid when i’m around him. but that doesn’t mean i’m not still hard headed and opinionated. i can do without. but for the first time in a long time … i don’t want to.
i have a crush … the poor guy won’t know what hit him 
sarah
love the last line!