firsts

December 4, 2007 at 1:04 am Leave a comment

the night starts with a hug. a simple “hi. you look wonderful”. neither has really actually looked. but both steal glances when the other’s eyes are averted. quick assessments that they hope can give insight as to what the evening holds in store. there’s an akwardness unavoidable. a portal to a potential disaster. a possibility undefined.

first dates.

they’re led to a quiet patio table. she’s a few steps ahead distracted by the scent of his cologne lingering on her sweater. praying that she doesn’t trip in the ever so unpratical selection of high heels. the confidence in her walk is intriguing. the gentleman in him tries not to focus on the way her jeans fit but who is he kidding. by the time they take a seat they have a glimmer of hope for a night not wrought with torturous forced smiles.

first impressions.

they both start to speak at the same time and instantly wonder if the conversation will get easier or if dinner will be plagued by gaps of painful silence. she hates being here. he wonders why he chose tonight to decide life was more than just work. she’s tough. maybe a bit jaded though she’d never admit it. he’s lonely. surprised by how empty the house feels when his kids aren’t there. there’s history. hers and his. pasts and baggage that neither are ashamed of but neither know quite how to meld into the dream of a future. but the words start flowing. his funny story elicits a laugh so genuine and he takes in the way her eyes crinkle when she giggles. as he talks she sees the tiny chip in his tooth and finds herself imagining the story of the day in his life that led to that scar. their legs touch accidentally under the table and neither pull away. from that moment on everything becomes a blur. he nods when she talks. she asks random questions that don’t quite flow with the topic of conversation. but they don’t notice. the childish nervousness is almost humourous to see.

first words.

they savour the cool fall evening as they walk to the garage. both pretend their stride is a bit shorter hoping to prolong the last of the evening. he wonders if he misread her and if a simple breeze across her cheek is a safer bet. she wonders if she should let him make the move and curtail her normally less-than-shy approach. the breezeway to the elevator finds them torn in opposite directions. nervousness leads him to forget to offer a walk to her car on the third floor. she pushes the button seemingly eager to escape but silently hoping the lift takes a slow downward journey. “thanks. i had a great time”. the standard catch phrase rolls off their tongues trained by a past of failed attempts.

first goodbye.

it’s soft. sweet. tender. experience touched by a surprising innocence. she’s very aware of his strong arm around her waist and the warmth of his hand on her cheek. he can feel her slight need to stand on her toes to reach his height. she’s not sure if she initiated it. he’s not sure he didn’t. defenses weaken. hesitant dreams surface.

first kiss.

tongue tied by the unexpected she slips into the waiting elevator as he disappears into the nearly empty parking garage. cloud nine suddenly seems familar ground and both hope the next few days will pass quickly and lead them to the rare experience.

first second date. 

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once upon a time my name is …

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