google me destiny

March 13, 2008 at 8:51 pm 1 comment

i have an old room mate who recently got an email on her facebook from the guy she was dating back when we lived together 13 years ago. she admits she can’t remember where they met, where they shared their first kiss or even why they broke up. in fact she called me hoping my memory could fill in her blanks. it’s not that the relationship wasn’t important. at the time he was her world. but love in the early 20s tends to be a far cry from how we define it in our mid 30s. they’ve been talking every day since and regardless of the little knowledge they have of each other over the last decade and regardless of the fact that they have yet to see each other face to face again, the conversation has already turned serious and they are discussing the future … their future, together. she has a plane ticket to nowhere. well actually it’s idaho or omaha … someplace obscure like that and she’s going to see him. to validate the feelings that have resurfaced and justify the long distance bills.

then there’s another friend. a myspace search a few months back yielded an old crush. a friendship that never progressed out of fear or timidity. but now after a couple months of emails and one brief “not-a-date” they’ve revealed the feelings long harboured. admitted to things neither knew the other felt. tentative plans are being made to see each other again and to take a step that was never taken more than 10 years ago. today she asked me if i believe in the concept of soul mates. she thinks he may be just that. the one that fate has destined her to be with. they didn’t see it then. they were young and naive. but now a second chance is layed before them. somehow all the twists and turns of life have led them back to each other.

as a friend, i am so happy for them both. smiles and giddy excitement radiate. but i’m biting my tongue on the words of caution. wondering if it’s my own scenario that causes the red flags or whether there is validity to the long known adage that the past is best left in the past. though my heart still aches to believe, my head screams the god awful truth that there is no destiny. there are no soul mates. and, if by any chance there is … then fate is cruel and punishing.

but is it fate at all or rather the self-inflicted reopenings of old wounds never fully healed. technology has made it very easy to revisit yesteryear. old friends, former lovers and distant memories are little more than a google search away. we’re so eager to reconnect yet i worry if we’re too eager to forget why we left in the first place.


Entry filed under: relationships.

the bunnies made me do it friendship

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. glassowater  |  March 17, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    I wish your friends all the best, but, as you well know, this scenario didn’t pan out in my own life, so I’m a little jaded on this concept too… it’s so easy to be blinded by our own prejudices that we feel compelled to lob out advice where none is asked for…I say, let the scenario play out and see where it goes…if they get beyond that second, third, fourth date, then you know it’s a little more than just a fascination with the past…..
    great post! 🙂


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