relinquishment

October 22, 2008 at 8:05 pm Leave a comment

i am in control. i allow it to be no other way.

rigidity structures my every day and my every dream. i crave the limits of schedules. relish the lack of the unknown. i allow nothing or no one to deter me from the definition i create. what i am and what you see is strength. success is never merely an option it is a requirement always obtained.

standing atop the pedestal built for one, i watch with cautious envy. their world is one i no longer understand. the tears. the demons i long since turned my back on. fear. confusion. chaos … total chaos. strangely intriguing. beautiful. intense. they reach out to me guised by need. playing on compassion with comforting words reminding me of the scars i no longer deify. i know that if i fall they will catch the words i silenced and cradle them in understanding arms.

but pergatory is an intimate existence. and i’d no more belong in theirs than they mine.

i am in control. i allow it to be no other way.

Advertisements

Entry filed under: fear, life. Tags: .

the written word where was i …

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts.

Join 150 other followers

the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39

Categories

Archives


%d bloggers like this: