October 22, 2008 at 8:05 pm Leave a comment

i am in control. i allow it to be no other way.

rigidity structures my every day and my every dream. i crave the limits of schedules. relish the lack of the unknown. i allow nothing or no one to deter me from the definition i create. what i am and what you see is strength. success is never merely an option it is a requirement always obtained.

standing atop the pedestal built for one, i watch with cautious envy. their world is one i no longer understand. the tears. the demons i long since turned my back on. fear. confusion. chaos … total chaos. strangely intriguing. beautiful. intense. they reach out to me guised by need. playing on compassion with comforting words reminding me of the scars i no longer deify. i know that if i fall they will catch the words i silenced and cradle them in understanding arms.

but pergatory is an intimate existence. and i’d no more belong in theirs than they mine.

i am in control. i allow it to be no other way.


Entry filed under: fear, life. Tags: .

the written word where was i …

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the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39



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