running away

August 9, 2009 at 11:01 pm Leave a comment

week of aug 2
total mileage 36

sunday off

monday 5 miles ~ hills
times 9:58  9:28  9:27  9:56  9:22

tuesday 4 miles ~ irish run
average 9:18

wednesday off

thursday  3 miles ~ home tread and 6 miles ~ home tread
average 9:50 and 9:45

friday off

saturday 18 ~ fishhawk
average 9:47

asics gt-2140 total mileage 339

i think something clicked in my training this week. in spite of time constraints, aches and pains, and an ever-increasing “honey-do” list, i managed to get in almost all my planned miles for the week even though it meant running twice on thursday. maybe i am finally realizing that i really do want this. or maybe it’s the need to run away from the rest of my life and put my focus back on something i feel i can control. personally …  i’d bet on the latter as in many ways i think i’ve always used the run to escape and avoid having time to think about other things.

it’s been awhile since i’ve attempted to really date ~ and i hesitate to use that term because i’m still not sure i’m willing to accept the fact that jc and i are “dating”. we’re friends, hanging out, taking it one day at a time. i need the disconnect. the distance. and the run allows me that space that i need. the reason to say “nope, can’t see you tonight … gotta run”. there are so many reasons i shouldn’t allow myself to fall into this. so many things that could go wrong. and when we’re “there” i feel that way with all certainty. know it’s best to end it now and save ourselves the discomfort. but when we’re “here” i simply want to get lost in the comfort i feel. the knowledge that he knows the good the bad and the ugly and accepts it all.

at some point there’s a decision to be made. one that realistically has to be made on far more than just the fact that we fit hand in hand. we’ll have to face the “when” not the “if”. he’ll have to finish what he’s started. i’ll have to question roots and rungs. but i’m not ready to make that decision so for the time being i think i may just keep running.

12 weeks until mcm and i think i finally found my motivation … avoidance!


Entry filed under: 30-something single, fear, life, relationships, running.

july running recap 11 weeks ’til mcm

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the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39



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