sleep sets in

September 13, 2009 at 1:06 pm 2 comments

there’s no point in even breaking out my mileage this week. i can sum it up in one short four mile run. toss in a 14 mile bike ride and a 40 minute deep water run and that’s all she wrote. the run was simply a test of the achilles and it failed. pain set in at about mile 3.5 and i knew i needed more time. so i retreated to the planned cross training but even that became minimal. every attempt was thwarted be it by timing, weather or other aches and pains. 

but where i’ve failed to challenge myself physically this week i’ve far made up emotionally. i feel as though i’ve been on a roller coaster of highs and lows ~ all essentially self-induced. without my run i’ve slept. too much. and where some see it as about time i relaxed, i know it as other. i’m avoiding. retreating from the thoughts that i can’t shut off in my head. trying desperately to run away from the over analysis and conclusion i’ve already written. i do not sleep. not in excess. i’m a creature of insomnia. of thoughts i curse yet relish. when i reach for sleep. when the bed becomes a cave. it’s not good.

in a few hours i’ll venture out hopefully in the rain to attempt miles. trials beckon and i pray for mud. i don’t want to run fast. i don’t need to push the body’s limit. but i need to feel the run. the water in my face and dirt seeping through my shoes. i need to escape these plagued dreams so tonight i can get no sleep.

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Entry filed under: 30-something single, fear, life, random, relationships, running. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

injury ~ truly the ultimate achilles heel me, myself and … us?

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. B.o.B.  |  September 14, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    I hope you get no sleep and would like to know when our first synchronized aqua jog session will be???

    Reply
  • 2. becelisa  |  September 14, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    thanks B.o.B. you know all too well how quickly the frustration and depression sets in when the run gets interrupted. not a bad idea on synchronized aqua jogging. do you think it’ll still be as effective if we have a bottle of wine by the side of the pool for “rehydration”?

    Reply

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