the damage is done

September 21, 2009 at 9:06 am Leave a comment

week of sept 13
total mileage 19.5 running, 9 biking, 1:25:00 DWR (deep water run)

sunday 4 miles ~ trails
average 9:15

monday 35 minutes DWR

tuesday  off

wednesday 4 miles ~ trails
average

thursday 2.5 ~ home tread
average 9:45

friday50 minute DWR

saturday 9 ~ fishhawk + 9 mile bike ride
average 9:38

shoes
asics gt-2140 58 miles

another week where i feel my body has failed me. this injury has shifted, diminished, reappeared and at this point consumed me. every time i felt ok. every time i tried the run. the next day would find me with just enough pain and stiffness to know that it was too soon. thursday was the worst. two and a half miles on the tread and i found myself sitting on my garage floor fighting back tears of disappointment. not wanting to succumb to the mental defeat, i finally chose not to cry but to get angry and release the emotion in the punching bag. somehow beating the crap out of it seemed to help.

having pretty much come to the conclusion it was tendonitis, i felt no need to go to my orthopedic simply to be told to take downtime. so instead, on friday, i opted to see a therapeutic massage specialist. a guy who runs in my group rarely enough that we had yet to meet. he had sent me a couple messages on facebook with advice over the last couple weeks and i hoped maybe he’d have some deeper input. and, if nothing else, i’d get the massage i’ve long since been denying myself. seeing him was the only positive that came from this week. his diagnosis is that my pain is all muscular. what little tendonitis he found was in the front of my ankle ~ a spot that hasn’t bothered me at all. ultrasound treatment and a massage that hurt so good left me hoping that all would be ok. run, he said. listen to your body but try. so saturday i did and made it nine miles. though a vast improvement from the 2.5 on thursday, still a far cry from the 26.2 awaiting me in five weeks. and the pain i can’t define has lingered into today and i’m quickly losing the battle against pessimism.

i know i will run MCM. and i know i will almost certainly PR. my training is so far ahead of where i was at disney and my physical and mental comfort and confidence on long mileage vastly improved. but i also know it’s time to accept that the sub four hour goal is unlikely. though i can and will accept the disappointment, i fear it’s done its damage.

“the sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.” ~ thomas hardy

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Entry filed under: fear, life, running.

me, myself and … us? saturday rerun

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the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39

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