week one of my tomorrow

January 6, 2010 at 12:26 pm 1 comment

i’ve got to come back. to you. to me. i’ve been so lost. unable to find my words. unable to share the ones i replay in my head over and over as i tear apart every facet of me, myself and i. i’ve got to let go. even if he won’t let me. i’ve got to heal the ankle. even if i can’t heal the heart. there’s so much i could share. wounds and scars and fears and wonders. anger and manipulation and unexpected options. but i can’t bring myself to come out from where i retreated for comfort. it’s too much. all of it. even the good that’s come with the bad. it’s too much. the lyrics say “i’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all”. but me … i’m not so sure.

sunday i will start my weekly updates once again. with insult and injury there might not be many miles. there might not be many words. but i’ve got to start somewhere and routine is my safety net. in training, i’ve counted down. seventeen weeks til mickey … 16 weeks til mickey … until the race was run. but now, with nothing specific to train for i must learn to count up.

week one of the unknown … week two of the unknown … until someday i stop running from myself.

Advertisements

Entry filed under: 30-something single, fear, life, relationships, running. Tags: , , , , , , , .

the finish line once a marathoner, always a marathoner

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. sarah  |  January 9, 2010 at 2:49 am

    (((HUGS)))

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts.

Join 150 other followers

the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39

Categories

Archives


%d bloggers like this: