routine reminiscing

December 13, 2010 at 10:15 pm 1 comment

it wasn’t long ago that i had a routine. week in and week out of a structured existence. and it wasn’t that long ago that i was bored by it. felt i was in a rut. but now without that routine i feel lost. my days go by in blurs of half-effort. an extra snooze on the alarm and a rushed morning. unplanned meals and quick fix takeout. maybe a run. maybe a ride. maybe pilates. maybe. maybe. maybe. or not.

i would give anything to find that again. the regime. the control. i’m faltering in this uncertainty. not sure what to do with these questions about life, love and the pursuit of happiness that have likely always plagued me but that i’ve always been good at hiding behind a type-A shield. i told myself after chickamauga i’d set a simple but structured plan. then it was after thanksgiving. now i just hope to establish it after christmas. the new year maybe. but really what’s wrong with today?! i know the holidays are just another excuse. but why. what am i running from or more accurately what am i not running towards?

i set the goal. gasparilla half. 1:56:00. i want it. right?

all i know is the alternative i’m living right now isn’t working for me.

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Entry filed under: 30-something single, biking, fear, relationships, running. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

half a resolution sometimes the apple does fall far

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. kitkat1126  |  December 14, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    I’m guilty of the “starting a routine after a certain date”. The problem is it can continue to be pushed out. The answer that seems to work? Start now…no excuses.

    Sometimes once you start and get back into the routine, you realize what it is you’re running towards…or what you hadn’t realized you wanted to run towards.

    Reply

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the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
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