maybe nice guys do finish last

January 17, 2011 at 12:00 pm 6 comments

i really think i need to just stay single. men frustrate me and i always end up wanting the ones i shouldn’t and never the ones i should.

friday night with barney was great. he was definitely attractive.  tall, very fit, casually preppy in attire and easily classified as a pretty boy on first glance. we started at a little irish pub i love but after a while got into a conversation about dive bars in the area we both live. i’ve been to some of the most class-less joints around and have to admit to finding humor and enjoyment in them with the right company. apparently there’s one that has dodged my radar even after years of living in the ‘view and it wasn’t long before barney dared and i accepted. the beer shed ~ very appropriately named ~ was classic! in the back of a trailer park. beer only. cash only. rednecks only. singing karaoke nonetheless. but the nice surprise was the back deck leading right up to the river. in the dark, i could almost say it was pretty. the christmas lights still up on the trailers across the water sure added to the romantic ambiance 😉  with it being a chilly night there were few who dared the cold but barney and i sat at the water’s edge drinking corona, talking and laughing for hours. given that i had a ten mile run on my schedule early the next morning, we called it a night around 11 p.m. with a few very nice goodnight kisses and a couple follow up texts to say goodnight.

saturday night could not have been more different as i had anticipated. i swapped the leggings and funky boots from friday night for a killer dress and heels. the destination was seasons 52, a phenomenal restaurant in tampa. coronas were replaced with pinot noir. and dinner ~ that apparently barney and i simply forgot to ever order ~ was the most decadent sea scallops over sun-dried tomato pearl pasta and roasted asparagus. the cadet was wonderful. easy to talk to. sweet as could be. cute ~ though a little short and stocky for my taste ~ and all in all it was a very lovely evening. it also ended with a few goodnight kisses. nice though not quite as natural as things felt with barney. but here’s the deal. i can’t imagine him ever setting foot in a place like the beer shed. ever. the bmw, starched button up, and shirt tucked in the pressed  jeans really seemed to say it all. i’m not opposed to seeing him again. maybe he was just a little extra sure to be on his first date best behavior and there’s a side i didn’t see but i really don’t think so.

fact is i need a guy with an edge. he needs to know how to rock a suit and tie, hold an intellectual conversation and behave accordingly in a five star restaurant. but he also needs to be able to build a campfire, walk into a redneck bar and not be the instant target of an ass kicking and actually enjoy both extremes. i kind of think barney fits that unusual mold, and i would really like to see him again BUT it’s already proving to be a challenge. between work, conflicting kid custody schedules, my running, his soccer, and his MBA program we don’t seem to have a lot of free time. and though i know that if someone really wants to make it work, you can find the time, i’m not sure i get the impression he’s willing to. the cadet on the other hand has already extended multiple dates and times of availability and sent me a friend request on facebook. which after only one date honestly makes me a little uncomfortable (is it weird that that bothers me?). sometimes i wish i could want the proverbial “nice guy”. the one who i know would be there to take care of me and provide a solid, secure future. but i readily admit to being one of those women who needs a bit of a bad boy hiding behind a pretty exterior. and damn it, i think i found one.

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Entry filed under: 30-something single, dating, divorce and co-parenting, parenting, relationships. Tags: , , , , .

running forward ~ week of jan 10 week of jan 17

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. fitandfortysomething  |  January 17, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    i love this post! it sure takes me back to when i was newly divorced and trying to get my dating legs back for sure. it can be tough but it can be fun and funny too. have a great night!

    Reply
    • 2. becelisa  |  January 18, 2011 at 7:39 pm

      i have so little patience and can be so picky that sometimes i think i really am just better off single. but dating can definitely be worth a laugh or two.

      Reply
  • 3. kitkat1126  |  January 17, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    I was JUST thinking about this! Why can’t I just like the “nice” guy and be attracted to him and feel safe yet excited etc. But for some reason it just doesn’t work that way.

    Maybe the “bad” guys aren’t necessarily bad for a certain type of woman though. Sometimes I wonder if there are guys out there looking for the type of women we are — contradictions (just like we want in men)- women who are happy at a nice restaurant but just as happy at a redneck bar.

    I tell myself that each time I realize the “nice” guy is finishing last again.

    Reply
    • 4. becelisa  |  January 18, 2011 at 7:41 pm

      i have to believe that there men that are looking for the same kind of contradiction i am. but then sometimes i think that men are only looking for a replacement mommy to take care of them and that sure as heck is never going to be. maybe why i end up more attracted to the bad boys. they just don’t show that needy clingy side as quickly!

      Reply
  • 5. Barista  |  January 18, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    facebook request after the first date? Ummm…no.
    facebook request after the third date? Ummm…no.

    As far as I’m concerned we aren’t even considering facebook until we’re in a relationship. And not “it’s complicated”, either…….

    Then again I’m not someone to have fb friends just to have them.

    Reply
    • 6. becelisa  |  January 18, 2011 at 7:47 pm

      um yeah. let’s add in that he emailed me later that night after our date. i didn’t respond. then he emailed me again the next afternoon. i eventually replied to that one with a short simple but nice note. then he sent the friend request which i have simply left hanging since yesterday morning. THEN just about two hours ago he texted me and the first line was “hey, long time no talk”. ummmm … can we say stage 5 clinger!?

      Reply

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