strike out

January 24, 2011 at 3:01 pm 4 comments

after a stellar re-entry into the world of dating, i think a retreat is in order. i truly have no patience for this crap.

first, the cadet. holy shit! after we went out saturday night he got home and sent me an email. it was sweet. thanking me for a nice night and suggesting a date two ~ which in sprite of not feeling butterflies, i was willing to go on. it was late when he wrote and i didn’t write back. nor did i get to it sunday morning. so i was a bit annoyed surprised to get another email sunday evening yet again detailing some of his upcoming schedule and wanting to know if i had time to talk that night. i wrote back explaining i had evening plans and then hoped to get to bed at a reasonable time for an early morning run but if i had time before bed i would call. it was short. sweet. but to the point. he wrote back. again. that night. this time a mini novel. strike one. monday morning i woke to a facebook friend request. hands down, no explanation really needed, strike two. i felt so put on the spot and i left it hanging trying to decide if i wanted to cave and accept or explain to him that after one date i see no reason to grant anyone that kind of insight into “my world”. tuesday evening, still unsure what i wanted to do, but not considering it a priority in my work parenting hair appointment busy day, i got a text message from him that started off “hey there! long time no talk” … um really???? we just met on saturday! it’s tuesday! i don’t even talk to my best friends for weeks on end sometimes. had it really been that long? he wanted to know if i was running with the irish that night and if not if i would have time to talk. no run, i explained back. but my daughter was home and we always watch biggest loser together. he wrote again. some attempt to be cute and funny about BL but seeing that my hairdresser had scissors slicing through my pretty red curls, i opted to pay more attention to her. the next morning sealed his fate. i woke to yet another email. this one apologizing for not calling the night before as planned. HUH???? whose plan? as i recall i had explained ~ in pretty decent detail mind you ~ my mommy daughter night of trashy reality tv. strike three. later that day i called my friend who set us up and explained to her that i would not be seeing him again. he called that night. i didn’t answer. and thursday i very nicely tiptoed around the words i wanted to use ~ psycho smothering stalker ~ and wrote him an email explaining my independence and need for space and that i didn’t foresee us being compatible. it seemed all was said and done. later that day the fb friend request was retracted and i got nothing is return. that is until saturday morning when i opened a long, long email detailing how independent HE is and that he doesn’t date often because he can’t give a relationship the time or attention it deserves. he went on about how he’s never been on the other side of things and he’s certainly never met a woman who needed as much space as he does. though he did ensure to state that he is pretty certain that he still needs more than i do. he acknowledged his stupidity for missing the signs in my responses  ~ or lack thereof ~ and how foolish he felt once he realized what he had done. he said if i were to give it another chance i would be nicely surprised. that he could take things as slow as i needed. he should have stopped at strike three because i have to say all that email did was make him look like an even bigger pussy than i already had him pegged for. i’m guessing it’s needless to say that i did not respond nor do i have any intent of doing so.

that, my friends, is why when you ask if there is someone you can set me up with, the answer will be a most resounding “not a chance in hell!”

as for barney. the one i actually would have loved to see again. he has vanished. after a few back and forth text banters early last week he has completely gone mia and i refuse to pull “a cadet” on him. i’m not saying i won’t go out with him again if he does call. i know his schedule is worse than mine, and i respect that, but there has to be some communication to keep me around. i know it’s a fine line for a guy to figure out with me. too much. too little. just right. and i really don’t have the time or patience to spell it out for someone. but fact is, i need a guy who needs that balance himself, and understands that a relationship can be proven a priority based on quality of time and communication not just quantity.


Entry filed under: 30-something single, dating, life, parenting, relationships. Tags: , , , , , , , .

week of jan 17 oh my …

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. kitkat1126  |  January 24, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    Haha, yeah responding to the Cadet will probably fuel him to respond again…and again…and again.

    Seriously though, why do there appear to only be two types ( Bad-boy vanishers or Dependent boring clingers)of men out there right now?

  • 2. Barista  |  January 25, 2011 at 9:28 am

    Haha! I love that he wrote you a super long email. I get so much pleasure from reading about idiots in the dating world….but I get sooo sick of meeting them!

  • 3. bgirl875  |  February 3, 2011 at 1:41 am

    Awesome post and I applaud you for telling him you prefer to not date a stalker.

    My take is that quantity, quality of time is not the issue. Finding one that you want IS.

    The struggle we ladies have is we spend a lot of time doing something we love. So in order to compromise that time, you’ve gotta be REAL special. Otherwise it’s like a trip to the hairdresser will always take priority.

    Good luck girl!

  • […] look back over my recent dating attempts and wonder what makes this different. why did the cadet freak me out so bad with a facebook friend request and a few emails (ok more than a few and he […]


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