escape from alcatraz

March 27, 2011 at 9:14 pm 2 comments

all i want is a break. a simple escape from any and everything. but in this technological age that proves to be a challenge. i feel guilty for running away. for not sharing my momentary lapse of control with those i know care. but sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta’ do. and for me that means shutting off for a few days.

step 1: temporarily deactivate the facebook account. done but apparently not so easy being i’m the original creator and “owner” of a page other than my own. one i no longer visit, none-the-less administer. solution: delete. sorry.

step 2: ignore email. not work obviously. i still have responsibility to the career that pays my bills. but given that i have about five other email accounts it’s not easy to avoid the temptation of the popup here and notification there. who wants me? is it important? do i really care? no. not right now. if it’s urgent, they know how to reach me. beyond that, i’m sorry but it will have to wait.

step 3: dodge the deluge of questions, comments and concerns from friends and family. i love them all. really. but i’m not one to break down to others. it’s just the way i am. and when i feel so overwhelmed to the point of losing it, i withdraw. it’s what i do. i assess. i regroup. i solve. i return. no need to worry about me. i promise.

step 4: turn off the cell. ok … not strong enough to do that one. not when sab is at her dad’s. not when i worry about the nyc girl and what she’s going through. not when i still believe that call will come.

step 5: write. this may be the only means of electronic communication i fully allow myself to be in. i need the walls. the empty space to fill with words.

step 6: when all else fails … run. run hard. run fast.

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Entry filed under: 30-something single, dating, divorce and co-parenting, exercise, family, fear, injury, life, parenting, random, relationships, running. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

week of march 14 ~ spring into summer week of march 21 ~ a five finger start

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Barista  |  March 28, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    Run straight to the beach! I’ll meet you there.

    Hope it gets better, darlin. We all need the decompress every so often.

    Reply
    • 2. becelisa  |  March 28, 2011 at 6:49 pm

      i’m hoping to run away to the woods with my tent, my dog and my running shoes somewhere in the next few weeks. that’s the best decompress for me. meantime i’m just going to be a social recluse for a couple days and try to regain my sanity.

      Reply

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