who are you and what have you done with me, myself and i

April 18, 2011 at 6:20 am 5 comments

the nyc girl once said it perfectly. “we help balance each other out when it comes to dating and relationships. where i’m picking out china patterns after a few dates, you’re already planning the divorce”. so true. she’s the hopeless romantic. i’m the rational realist. ok so maybe i’m the jaded pessimist but i prefer to think of it as just being cautious.

friday i finagled a few hours with the house hunter for date number two. all week i found myself a little too optimistic. dreamy. pathetic. and i figured more time with him might help prove that he wasn’t all that and a bag of chips. boy did that backfire. it was a simple evening. a happy hour tryst while sab hung out at a friend’s. but every minute of conversation and every touch of his hand or kiss from his lips just felt right. natural. as though we’ve been there awhile. i really don’t even know how to explain it because when i try it sounds so school girl silly but after two dates every bit of my cautious pessimist is being silenced by a giddiness i haven’t felt in years. and it seems i’m not the only one.

as i mentioned before, the biggest obstacle we face right now is our child custody schedule. we have the exact opposite days and nights with our kids. but saturday afternoon i got a text from him. the next couple of weeks in his world are as nutty as mine. his older daughter’s birthday ~ 11 just like sab. his move ~ butt head rented someone’s house just not mine! πŸ˜‰ and his ex is taking his girls out of town for spring break. so given the chaos and temporary adjustments he felt it was the perfect time to ask his ex to switch. it made sense for them, he said, and added bonus was what it would do for us. end result … she agreed. so as of the first week of may we are on the exact same custody schedule.

then yesterday i logged onto my match account for the first time in a few days. part of my absence was purposeful. at first because i didn’t want to see him online and then because i didn’t want him to see that i was. maybe my little subtle way of saying “i like you and i’m not looking for anything else until i see what happens with us”. but today i logged on and i realized he’d added me as a “favorite”. a silly match bookmark that can be seen by the one you select. so i called him on it. sent him a text with a little joke about being his favorite. and his response surprised me.

the hunter: haha. of course! i’m probably gonna just shut my profile down though because i’d kind of like to see what develops with us.
me: you shut down yours … i’ll shut down mine πŸ˜‰
the hunter (within a few minutes): my profile is now hidden. but seriously babe, i really didn’t say that to get you to do the same. i’m just not into dating multiple women at once and i like you. but please don’t feel any pressure
me: mine is now as well … because i WANT it that way. i like you too.
the hunter: πŸ™‚

i look back over my recent dating attempts and wonder what makes this different. why did the cadet freak me out so bad with a facebook friend request and a few emails (ok more than a few and he really was passive aggressive) but this guy has changed his custody schedule and taken himself off the market after two dates and all i can do is smile? why when the ironman came along did i not even consider walking away from my purely surface relationship with the knight but now i have no intention of seeing either of them again? i don’t believe in love at first sight. i hesitate to believe in destiny. but i have no doubt some weird twist of fate somehow led us to where we are.


Entry filed under: 30-something single, dating, divorce and co-parenting, relationships. Tags: , , , , , .

the house hunter i win

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. kitkat1126  |  April 18, 2011 at 6:45 am

    It’s different because you genuinely feel something for this guy as compared to the cadet. It’s so clear in your writing that you’re attitude and feelings about this one are so far different from the past few guys. You seem to have pushed the overly cautious/realist attitude to the side, not in a throw caution to the wind type of way, but in a you’ve found someone worth giving an honest chance to type of way.

    Whatever it is, love at first sight/destiny/fate/coincidence – I’m so excited to read more. πŸ™‚

  • 2. Kalli  |  April 18, 2011 at 7:38 am

    yay! i love how this is going……so happy for you. but i feel for you….i too am very cautious though i met my hubby and found love again. the second time around it usually works way better than the first πŸ™‚

  • 3. crazyrunninglegs  |  April 18, 2011 at 7:54 am

    I am a HUGE believer in the whole fate/meant to be thing. Even if it doesn’t work out in the long run – you meet people and they impact your life in such a way that you learn about yourself and grow. They contribute to that lifelong journey.

    I love the way you guys met and I love that you are willing to open your heart up to him! So excited to hear more πŸ™‚

  • 4. Barista  |  April 18, 2011 at 9:17 am

    Yay YAY YAY!!!! I got giddy just reading this utter cuteness!! Ok, so I’m also one to pick out china after a couple dates and as we speak I’m over here constructing your wedding cupcake tower in my head.

    I kid. I think.

  • 5. red  |  April 18, 2011 at 9:52 am

    Hell to the YEAH!


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the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39



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