she’s alive

August 30, 2011 at 7:47 pm 1 comment

apparently it’s hard to come back to blogging after disappearing for a few weeks. i feel like there were so many times i should have written. things i needed to process. like the way i felt driving north along 75 when sab and i took a trip up to georgia to see the bunny. the deja vu that i was running away from jc the hunter overwhelming. or how sab started middle school last week and on her first day i felt such an uncharacteristic anxiety. or how i sent some random email on facebook to a guy with the same name as my father’s half-brother in some weird way to reach out to the family i may never know. but all those stories were emotions that lived in those particular moments and they’ve since come and gone. and to write about them now seems almost silly. so here’s a basic recap of life since i went blog world MIA. which, for the record, i really didn’t do for any particular reason. nothing more than life getting in the way as i juggle being a full time professional, single mom, cook, maid, homework tutor, girlfriend, friend, and supposed athlete.

running ~ the calf is still on the mend. i ran once last week. three easy at the irish run. and i ran yesterday. again three. i’m not up to par and likely shouldn’t run on it still but sometimes my sanity requires miles. replacing the run has been minimal in many ways. with the georgia trip and adjusting to a brand new school schedule, time just hasn’t gone my way but i ride here. i weight lift there. twice i’ve gone a long 32 on the bike and it’s a sport i am coming to enjoy. but i still miss my run.

sab ~ as i mentioned my baby is now a middle schooler and so far she loves it. new school. entirely new zone. new friends. seven classes of which the five academic ones are advanced placement. my worry over her adjustment was for nil. she’s amazing with how she just fits in. finds her niche.

work ~ changes are to come at the office.we’re on a countdown to a new director. scary but my hope is a for a minor shake up. a shimmy maybe. just something to help alleviate my ever growing frustration with the lack of challenge.  my biggest fear i almost dare not speak write of. i guarantee jc wants the title. i don’t think he would ever get it. but what-ifs hang on my tongue in ways i’m not sure i can swallow.

the hunter ~ ah. where do i start. there are those days i wonder where i am. where he is. where we are. we’ve yet to have that talk. it’s overdue i know. but every time i think i’m ready i change my mind. sometimes it’s because i don’t want to risk ruining an otherwise amazing day we’ve had. but at others it’s because i question what it is i really want out of this. there are things i worry about. things i think could and in some ways should be relationship ending. but there’s also so much that works. and somehow i think that if we both let go of the comfort we find in being alone we might actually learn to find comfort in another. i’m looking for something amazing. something real. and rome wasn’t built in a day so i think i’m just taking things slow. letting us build a foundation of days turned to weeks turned to months.

so that’s it. life in a blogger nutshell. i’ll try not to go missing again. from you, or from me, myself and i.

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Entry filed under: 30-something single, biking, dating, exercise, family, life, random, relationships, running. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

blood and water dreaming with a broken heart

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the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39

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