kid fears

November 15, 2011 at 11:01 am 2 comments

after seven months together, the hunter and i have yet to introduce our kids. well that’s not entirely true. months ago we brought together the four-legged, furry ones with a successful outcome but it’s the two-legged ones we’ve kept in the wings of our relationship.

my daughter knows about the hunter. she has for awhile. she may only be 11 but she gets her type-A, rational demeanor from me and we’ve always had a line of communication and understanding that i’m pretty proud of. we’ve talked openly about the risk of her getting attached to something that may not last and she respects the fact that i don’t want her to meet him … yet.

the hunter’s girls ~ ages 11 and 8 ~ don’t even know that he is dating. at least not that i’m aware of. he’s had one other relationship since his divorce and they introduced the kids pretty quickly. the day after they did, his youngest went to school and announced to everyone that she was getting a new mommy. his girls wanted him to get married again. to be a family. and when things fell apart, they were devastated to go through another split. so understandably he’s been extremely hesitant to risk putting them through anymore heart break.

but the other night the hunter sent me a text that suggested he’s close if not ready to make that step. though it was the most amazing confirmation of his feelings for me, it caught me off guard and i unexpectedly find myself hesitant. i’m not sure what i’m scared of. it’s not that i think we would be jumping the gun and bringing the girls into a less than solid relationship. though the last few months have had some rocky moments, i honestly feel the hunter and i have been building a solid foundation to what i think could be a long-term future. we’ve been slowly chipping away at the walls and fears we both hide behind extreme rational, analytical personalities and it’s almost uncanny how similar we are. and i don’t think i’m worried about the girls not getting along. though i can 100 percent guarantee there will be pre-teen-girl hormone raged days where they all hate each other, i feel we are both pretty solid in our parenting and don’t think we would be any more dysfunctional than the average “real family” with three girls close in age.

but i suppose in some ways it’s not about the kids. it’s about me. about taking a huge step out of my comfort zone. for nine years it’s been just me and sab. yes, her dad is here and involved but my house ~ OUR house ~ is just me and my girl. we have our way of doing things. silly mommy/daughter rituals. rules. routines. i know kids are flexible. they adjust. the question is, would i?


Entry filed under: 30-something single, dating, divorce and co-parenting, family, parenting, relationships. Tags: , , , , .

light at the end of the tunnel should i stay or should i go now?

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Krissy  |  November 17, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    I like that you guys have taken it slow with the kid introductions. I find people do that way too soon these days and when it doesn’t work out it’s hard to explain to the children. I think children should only meet someone you are dating if it is very serious. Otherwise I wouldn’t even bother.

    11 and 8 are good ages when it comes to being introduced. They have a better understanding of what is going on. I think whether you decide to wait a little longer or introduce your children this weekend, at least you have already built a good foundation. It’ll also be nice to see if your kids get along with each other.

  • 2. Miss Mile High  |  November 21, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    To me – a single woman without kids – no matter what you do that YOU think is best for your baby is right. The end.


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