the word

January 24, 2013 at 11:42 am 7 comments

kitkat recently posted about picking a word to inspire your desired actions and goals for the new year. i have never been one for resolutions, but i loved this idea. i see it as more of an overall aura to bring to my world rather than specific measurable goals.

i’ve thought about my word for the past few week and have settled on a few only to abandon them soon after. take patience for example. it’s no secret that i have none and there are many areas of my life where it would behoove me to try, but really a lack of patience doesn’t ever really play a negative in my world so why would gaining it be a priority.

acceptance. determination. challenge. forgiveness. all words i considered and all words i realized posed me little to no challenge.

when all was said and done i knew my word had to be something that would make me question. make me want to face necessary change.  make me a little uncomfortable … and with that it came clear. my word is discomfort.

dcom

don’t get me wrong. it’s not that i want to feel uncomfortable or not at ease but i think i need to.

i live in a box. a very self-controlled, self-constrained world where i attempt to have every minute detail prepped, planned and in order. and it’s not just today i control. i work very hard to create the future i foresee as acceptable. i rarely find myself blindsided or incapable. and though that may sound like a positive, there’s negative in that i don’t allow myself risk or extreme challenge and in return i never allow myself the reward. i know it seems that i do challenge myself. i’m always striving for new race goals or distances and pushing myself harder and harder, but each step, each race, is strategical and calculated. as is everyother facet of my life.

discomfort: in relationships
i clearly recognize my inability to fully trust myself nonetheless another when it comes to matters of the heart. i always hold back. just enough to never need anyone. if i don’t change that i will never have anything more than what i’ve had before.

discomfort: in my career
i have already begun this journey. the job i started in november has been quite the change. not in a bad way necessarily but i went from knowing everything about what i do to knowing nothing. it’s not a feeling i like but i’m learning and it can only be a positive for my future.

discomfort: physically
marathons. easy. the half ironman. not as hard as i expected. and maybe my next challenge ~ the croom fools run 50 mile ~won’t be what i anticipate but i want it to be. need it to be. i want to find a break point. a physical challenge that forces me to find a deeper emotional challenge.

i know i can’t expect to relinquish control and graciously accept discomfort but i know i need to venture outside my box and see what the rest of the world has to offer my body, mind and soul.

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Entry filed under: 40-something single, fear, life, relationships. Tags: , , , .

miserables the road not taken

7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. kitkat1126  |  January 24, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    The entire time I read this post I thought, I could have written this exact same thing (only less eloquently).

    **”i’m always striving for new race goals or distances and pushing myself harder and harder, but each step, each race, is strategical and calculated. as is even other facet of my life.” ** I can’t tell you how many times people have said how “adventurous” or even “impulsive” I am — and yet, just like you, all of those adventures and impulses are usually far more calculated (ad nauseum) than anyone ever realizes. Well anyone other than you 🙂

    Reading this post, I’m really excited for you. I’d love to truly see how you incorporate discomfort into your next year, how it makes you feel, and what comes out of all of it. I really hope every once in a while you look back at this post and can document your progression. I think it’ll be a really positive growing experience for your mind, body and soul if you push it.

    Reply
    • 2. kitkat1126  |  January 24, 2013 at 12:33 pm

      (…and I should really take my own advice)

      Reply
      • 3. becelisa  |  January 24, 2013 at 1:48 pm

        easier said than done! xo

  • 4. Louise  |  January 24, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    I think that is a great and very brave word to choose!

    Reply
  • 5. Floyd Roberts  |  January 24, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Again I am drawn from under my rock and compelled to answer. Twenty years ago a friend told me that she never wanted to be comfortable. At the time it seemed like flippant tripe. (if tripe indeed comes in that flavor) reflecting one decade later I began to embrace the comment in that I realized that joy in life was often due to successful hard work on the roller coaster, and that indeed comfort and security led to complacency and stagnation which in turn led to fear and dissatisfaction. Needless to say on paper I kinda like the comfort and security, it is after all what I work towards, however, like many things reaching it (for any great length of time) may not be in my best interest. This is NOT a cry for caution to the wind use the force reasoning… instead this is a helllllooo from a student of chaos. Chaos theory in mathematics seeks to Define relations, interactions and boundaries in processes where the result is chaotic (i.e. unpredictable – nova had a great piece on this eons ago) One of the tricks is to identify boundaries for processes…. Predictable boundaries not predictable results….. Swammiii Floyd says seek not discomfort but seek the foundation of the fear which straps you to the table of docility….

    Ya whatever. Can I have an espresso with that? Luck

    Reply
    • 6. becelisa  |  January 24, 2013 at 3:19 pm

      i love when you come out from your rock.

      Reply
  • 7. word search | becelisa  |  December 20, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    […] of picking a word to inspire my desired actions and goals for the entire year. my word was discomfort. something i rarely allow myself to feel but felt i desperately needed to […]

    Reply

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the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39

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