damn you cupid

February 14, 2013 at 8:06 pm 1 comment

happy corporate-endorsed, love-themed merchandising day. gee i’m not bitter or jaded am i? today has plain sucked. i spent the entire day moping and feeling sorry for myself. i rejected the offer from the attorney to go out to dinner and keep each other company. she’s not really single. her husband is overseas which i know isn’t easy but at the end of the day she has someone and i don’t. and even a lunchtime shopping field trip to planet x (yes it is what you think) with red and KS failed to cheer me up. they both had valentine fun 😉 ahead. i didn’t. i suppose it didn’t help that someone chose today to check in on me and bridge the distance we’d put between us. or that my foot really hurts and has me freaking out that i am pushing too hard trying to get ready for this race! so now i’m sitting alone in the dark, candles lit, listening to sappy love songs and drinking wine. seriously what the hell? why can’t i just treat today like any other day? i really am not a fan; whether single or not. lord knows last year with the hunter wasn’t any better than this year single. in fact in rereading this i’m far better off alone than i was with him. and i’ve certainly never been the sappy lovey dovey, need to be with someone type of girl.

but sometimes it sucks being reminded that i’m single. flowers scattered around the office. facebook posts of gifts and words of love. even my ex husband chose this year to not think to have mini-me give me something. and this comes on the heels of a night where i had to battle with power tools and door frames while trying to get dinner on the table and solve algebraic equations. a multi-task evening that normally wouldn’t phase me but for some reason left me frustrated and in tears and tired of having to do it all. so i guess i’m allowing myself a day of wallowing in self pity. a day to pull the girl card and admit i want romance. i want flowers. i want someone else to yield the screwdriver while i help with the homework. i want someone to run with and play with. i want to relinquish the task of taking out the trash and will happily cook a meal now and then and do some extra laundry ~ just don’t expect me to fold it ;). really cupid, i’m ready, where is my valentine?

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Entry filed under: 40-something single, relationships. Tags: , , .

back-to-back double digits! analyze this

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. kitkat1126  |  February 15, 2013 at 9:21 am

    I reread your post from last year and wow. You are in such a better place.

    I want to yell at Cupid too for you. You deserve someone who will make an effort and make you feel special on valentine’s day (really every day – vday is dumb) and I just want that for you. I know you’re ready. I have no doubt that that time will come, and you’ll find that someone – I just want it to come now!

    But do remind yourself you’re in a really good place right now. You’ve got the new job, an amazing daughter, a community of running friends (jealous), you’ve GOT YOUR RUN BACK (and after 32 miles I’d be crippled so I’d expect some soreness!) – so keep your eyes (and heart) open…xoxo

    Reply

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the best of times

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