call me maybe

April 25, 2013 at 1:15 pm 3 comments

last night i went on my first actual date since things with the hunter ended. it was one of those sort of unexpected randoms. i first met him halloween evening when i took mini-me to a friend’s house for a party and trick or treating. he lives next door to her friend and was outside with his dog. we got to chatting and found a few acquaintances in common. not friends really. just neighbours and former co-worker connections. i assumed he was married. single guys simply don’t live in the mcMansion he calls home. so it was just talk. another run in here. and another there. and somewhere i gave him my number. or maybe the neighbour asked and i ok’d. i honestly don’t remember but it was questions about my running group. he’s a former runner. state champ in the mile years ago. and he wants to add miles back into his workout routines. the other day i went to pick mini-me up at that friend’s house and he was outside again. the more we chatted the more i came to realize he wasn’t married and later that evening i got a text asking for a night of drinks. i agreed with hesitancy but with an attempt to keep an open mind.

i have a bad habit of pre-judging. i suppose most of us do to a degree but i write the entire story in my head before it’s even been read. i took what i knew … older, extremely successful attorney, wealthy and turned it into workaholic, demanding, strong-willed, rich guy looking for a younger trophy wife. i’m not sure i’m not right but the more we talked last night the more i think i could be wrong. but i think for some reason i’m intimidated by money. maybe it’s because i don’t have any. maybe it’s because at one point we did. i watched my father marry for the money. manipulate and lie his way into a fortune that wasn’t his. i saw what it did to us. to him. to me. i don’t know that lifestyle any more. and i think i’m a better person for it. but this guy has worked hard for where he is. didn’t have the silver spoon childhood that typical yields the pompous ass. but i’m a tad bit stubborn and independent and i worry that my career and my contribution would end up feeling inconsequential. but i know, i’m doing what i always do. looking ten steps ahead and determining why things won’t work instead of why they could. so i’m trying to put that line of reasoning aside.

but there’s a more immediate. and it’s somewhat physical shallow. he’s attractive. in great shape. well dressed. he’s got a nice smile and all of most of his hair. but he’s 12 years older than me. much younger i’ve done. older never. and even harder for me to get over (pun intended), he’s short. as in “i’m taller in heels and maybe even in flats” short. i know that’s not what’s important but i’m partial to tall. instant attraction to height. stature. wrap your arms around me make me feel sheltered and secure tall. he held his own in presence. certainly no lack of masculinity. but i can’t help but see it.

i have no doubt we’ll go out again. an evening on the boat or at the theatre already in potential discussion. but there’s something in all of this that has me sad. such the wrong emotion to have standing at the edge of something maybe. 

Advertisements

Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: , , , .

march madness dreaming with a broken heart

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Miss Mile High  |  April 25, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    1st – I am so happy you went on a date. He may or may not be anything more than a little fun for a few dates, but at least you’re getting back on the horse.

    2nd – all your analysis – I get it. It’s the #1 reason Internet dating never worked for me. Nobody I went out with had 1/2 a chance at me not analyzing out the possibility. In fact, if I’d met CP that way we never would have made it past the first date. He’s only an inch taller than me, doesn’t have that type-A/salesperson personality I thought I wanted… oh, and he’s Asian!…none of the things on my list and definitely not anyone I thought I’d be attracted to ever.

    I’m not saying you should overlook anything just because I found love in an unexpected place, though. Sounds like you’re giving him a chance and that’s more than some would do. At least you’re in touch with yourself enough to recognize what you’re doing. Have fun!

    Reply
  • 2. gr4c5  |  April 25, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    You’re so hip 😉

    Reply
  • 3. kitkat1126  |  April 30, 2013 at 8:02 am

    Like MMH said, I’m glad you went out on a date! Just dating is a good thing. Remember (and sometimes it’s hard not to panic or think too much into it) you don’t have to marry this guy. You don’t even have to go out on more than a few dates with him. I say have fun, and when it stops being fun (you’ll know) – you can always stop dating him.

    Attraction grows (or lessens) so much based on personality as you get to know someone. I think being open is a good thing and knowing your true dealbreakers (physically and emotionally) is important. I know it’s shallow, but height was one of mine 😉

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts.

Join 150 other followers

the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39

Categories

Archives


%d bloggers like this: