ocean front property in arizona

June 23, 2013 at 7:09 pm 6 comments

i very rarely write about work. in spite of some of the chaos and craziness i share, i try to err on the side of professionalism. but i’m standing on the edge of something new and i’m scared to death.

i’ve only been in my current job for about seven months. but i knew at only a few weeks that it wasn’t a good fit. there’s a negativity. a lead by intimidation and threat. an acceptance of backstabbing to avoid responsibility. it’s a toxic environment and one i’ve known i need to escape. but in spite of the unhappiness, i haven’t wholeheartedly looked. i’ve applied here and there. i’ve put the resume out. but admittedly i haven’t given the hunt 100 percent. maybe because i didn’t have the time or energy. maybe because it’s easy to become complacent. maybe because i always knew what was waiting in the wings.

for the last five years or so one of the vendors i use has been trying to get me to come work for him. he’s one of the elite. the natural born salesman. not the used-car guy but the confident, honest, solid business man. and his claim has always been that i am too. only three percent of the population has “it” he says, and you are one of us.

but i’m a parent. a single-income household of more than enough bills. my paycheck takes care of that and leaves for a little fun on the side. though honestly not much more. i fear commission. fear the unknown direct deposit. and though he’s always offered up a guarantee, it’s never been enough to even consider. but last week, at another lunch, another let’s talk about it hour, i told him to man up and put a different number on the table. and he did. it’s a pay cut for me. a payout increase for him. a meet in the middle i wasn’t sure would ever happen.

and i accepted.

tomorrow i put in notice. two weeks until i leap off a cliff into the potential realm of the i’m-broke-ramen-noodle diet. but six months to a year before i truly believe pray i can make this worth my while. i’ve prepped the kid for extra-carricular cutbacks. i’ve scaled back my hopes and dreams of paying down the life debt. sacrifices i hope can some day reap reward.

i’m a little on the stubborn side. confident enough. and i have all the faith in the world i will rock this job. sure … and if you believe that … i’ve got some ocean front property in arizona i can sell you too!


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biggest loser building blocks

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. PDX Running Chick  |  June 23, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    Life is about choices and chances we take, right? It would be awesome to know how they will turn out before we make a decision, since that doesn’t happen — life is too short to work in an unhealthy environment. Here’s to the ramen diet and the great things in store for you in the future because of cliffs you chose to jump off!

    • 2. becelisa  |  June 25, 2013 at 8:22 am

      you are so right! life is too short and i spend too much time at work to be as unhappy as i have been. the unknown is scary but in reality what i know right now is as well. time to jump!

  • 3. Miss Mile High  |  June 24, 2013 at 5:27 am

    We’re always a little afraid of the unknown, but the way I see it – what’s the worst that could happen? You hate it and move on. This guy must seriously believe in you or he would never have gone up in salary. Now you just believe in yourself, m’k?? 🙂

    • 4. becelisa  |  June 25, 2013 at 8:25 am

      for the most part i do believe in myself. but i always linger on the little what if. and honestly i think i’m a little bit afraid of letting down my new boss. he’s got a lot of faith in me and i want to do right by him.

  • 5. kitkat1126  |  June 24, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    I think it’s awesome you are taking this chance and getting out of a toxic environment (there’s nothing worse). Sometimes people can see things in ourselves before we can – and I have a feeling this guy has seen that you have exactly, if not more, than what it takes to rock the job. Ramen…yum! 😉

    • 6. becelisa  |  June 25, 2013 at 9:09 am

      taking chances is hard for a control freak but i know it’s one i need to do. i hope what he sees really exists because i’m not a huge ramen fan ~ thankfully my kid is though!


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