word search

December 20, 2013 at 3:26 pm 1 comment

if you’ve been reading me for any length of time you know i don’t make new year’s resolutions. i simply don’t believe that life changes can or should be forced into definition on one specific day of the year. but last year i did something new and took kitkat’s lead of picking a word to inspire my desired actions and goals for the entire year. my word was discomfort. something i rarely allow myself to feel but felt i desperately needed to explore.

discomfort: in relationships
the past year has been an emotional journey. from lingering relapses with the hunter to a friendship irretrievably broken. but it was only as of late that i think i truly found the beginning of discomfort. the “almost was” with there. funny that from afar he was the one who has made me see that what i fear the most is the unknown happy. maybe my happy wasn’t meant to be with him. obviously i guess it wasn’t. but maybe one day i’ll figure out how to allow myself the love i deserve.

discomfort: in my career
sometimes i regret the decision i made last november to leave the comfort of the corner office. had i known it would lead from one to another i never would have left. but there was no passion. no depth to what i did. so in that i’m glad i jumped. i’m still not sure where or who i want to be when i grow up but there are ideas spinning. commit for four. then maybe, just maybe, i can write the next chapter.

discomfort: physically
technically i hurt. knees. foot. si joint. what i do certainly leads to aches and pains. but i have yet to find the demons i oddly desire that force me to choose mind over body. or maybe i did but refuse to truly acknowledge my own strength.

for the last year i often found the word discomfort forefront in my mind. at times over mere silliness. at others surrounding life decisions. i love that one simple word made me stop and think to choose ~ sometimes wisely. often not. ~ whether to stay safe behind my comfort zone or face internal fears. i don’t plan to let discomfort go. the importance of it’s role on who i am so clear. but i want to add to it. to find the word that i need to take with me into the 365 ahead.

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Entry filed under: life, relationships. Tags: , , , , , .

lost count setting the pace

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. kitkat1126  |  December 20, 2013 at 3:33 pm

    It’s like you read my mind. I was reading your last post, and somehow I wanted to find a way to say I’m just glad you are taking chances and starting to allow yourself the love you (so) deserve even if didn’t work out it was worth pushing past that fear and discomfort. But you said it so much better in this post.

    I love this reflection. I love how from silly to serious – all of the ways in which you challenged discomfort in your life had an impact on you. Whether positive from the start or not, it makes you grow, experience, and LIVE deeper, more passionately, and just more…if that makes sense. 🙂

    I can’t wait to see what you’re thinking for 2014. I’ve been trying to do something too…

    Reply

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