can’t we just be friends

November 12, 2014 at 12:12 pm Leave a comment

in the last few weeks i’ve had two different male friends profess feelings and ask me out. i won’t label either as really close friends. buddies who run (literally) in the same circles might be more accurate a description but with enough shared to be more than mere aquantainces.

the first caught me way off guard! and i actually considered. even agreed to get together for a run and drinks one evening to talk though i insisted we shy away from calling it a date. i truly enjoy his company and when at the end of the not-a-date we decided to see what a kiss between us felt like, i was quite taken aback by how amazing it was. but after really thinking it through i know he’s not what i’m looking for. we’ve had a couple of awkward moments since then but i think the friendship will be ok.

the second situation wasn’t quite so drama free. a few of us were out of town. he was drunk. his great reveal became more of dictator’s speech than a conversation. i knew i wasn’t interested in him that way. so i tried to be nice. to let him down easy. but he wouldn’t stop. and he crossed the line when he invaded my personal space and wouldn’t back the fuck off. the i-blame-the-liquor apology email he sent the next day only fueled my red-headed-fire and my response ended any hope that the friendship would be salvaged.

the question as to whether or not men and women can just be friends is a hard one. i like to think so especially given i have a lot of male friends and always have but sometimes i’m just not so sure. i think harry (in the movie when harry met sally) may have said it best “men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” whether voiced or not, does someone always harbor a desire for more? i’m starting to feel that might be the case and i hate i’m pulling back from certain friendships for it.


Entry filed under: 40-something single, dating, relationships. Tags: , , .

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