new year. new start.

January 2, 2015 at 1:38 pm 6 comments

i made a comment to a friend on new year’s day how i find it funny that my writing seems to correlate to my running. i know this blog is in some ways mostly running related so i suppose that would make sense, but the last month has had had so many stories to tell yet with no miles i’ve had no words.

on new year’s day i also ran for the first time since the florence marathon. time down due to an injury from one of those tales not yet told. the basics … minor calf muscle tears mid-race (that i of course stupidly pushed through in spite of numerous attempts to try and convince myself to quit) followed by major swelling from back-to-back flights home that led to more tearing and the concern of a blood clot in my leg. an ultrasound cleared me of the clot, but the calf needed to heal. i didn’t argue and i didn’t push. i simply stopped running with a very uncharacteristic acceptance of the fact that this injury would likely take my 100 off the table. and though i probably could have handled a few miles earlier in the week it seemed fitting to wait until jan 1. a new start per se. and this year who i ran with made the relevance of a new year’s day sunrise run far more symbolic.

i know some of you are waiting for that story. you’ve seen pictures or the status update on facebook. i am officially <gulp> in a relationship! so i guess it’s time to tell.

i’m not sure what made me go there again. i long since gave up on the world of online dating. maybe it was not being able to run and needing something to fill my time. or maybe it was the thought of spending the impending holidays alone again but mere days into the temporary lapse of sanity i knew it was a mistake. the same faces. the same bullshit. i was about to delete, yet again, but then someone caught my attention. a click of a wink and a line or two later we bonded over 4 a.m. sleepless emails that eventually turned to texts then talk. when we finally agreed to meet for a drink i almost prayed he’d be nothing like i expected. disappointment is familiar to me. the fear hope of something more wasn’t.

they say that you’ll know. you won’t know how. you certainly won’t understand why. but from the moment your eyes meet or your skin touches it simply all makes the most irrational sense and you know better than to try to find the ever elusive answer. i’ve felt it once before. with boston. and truth be told it’s likely the reason why a part of me never believed i would feel it again. a soulmate is forever. a once in a lifetime that only a lucky few get to experience. and in spite of the tangled web of love we wove, i’ve always treasured every memory of boston as my one and only chance. so who was i to think i ever deserved a second.

but it feels as though that’s exactly what i’ve been given. my rationality screams at me to breath. take it slow. but with time off work and off the run the last month has been all about us and it’s felt right. but now starts the real test of balance. his world there. my world here. back to work. back to the run.

but for some reason i’m not too concerned. i trust his feelings in a way i haven’t trusted in a long time. and maybe even more important i trust my own.

I have no idea what to expect but i can’t wait to see what 2015 has in store for me … and for us!

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Entry filed under: 40-something single, injury, relationships, running. Tags: , , , , .

100: take 12 music is love in search of a word

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Miss Mile High  |  January 3, 2015 at 10:04 am

    I’m glad you recognized that many of us were waiting for the story after seeing the pics on FB! When I started reading this I was cursing you because I thought you were going to skip over it.

    So, YAY!!! There’s nothing more comforting than trusting someone’s feelings. I know I never could have explained what it would feel like, but it’s true that you just know and it’s such a relief! I’m so, so happy for you. Best for 2015!

    Reply
    • 2. becelisa  |  January 5, 2015 at 2:35 pm

      hahaha! i knew you would chomping the bit for info. i almost didn’t write about it yet since you know i feel like i jinx things when i do. but then i realized that i have no fear that would be the case this time. i’m sure there will be many more stories to come.

      Reply
  • 3. Louise  |  January 3, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    Yay!! I always believe when you know you know. It just feels right. Happy New Year!

    Reply
    • 4. becelisa  |  January 5, 2015 at 2:35 pm

      thanks! happy new year to you too!

      Reply
  • 5. kitkat1126  |  January 5, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    While you already know how happy I am for you, reading it now in more detail – and the way you speak of Boston and feeling “it” again… there’s just something different about the way you write about this new relationship, letting go of control and fear, and just letting it be natural – it’s so wonderful to read. I’m just so excited for you, you truly deserve this.

    Reply
    • 6. becelisa  |  January 5, 2015 at 2:48 pm

      i’m excited for me too 🙂 it’s so strange how natural things feel. i know it’ll take compromise and adjusting but i’m just going with it. i think it’s going to be a great year!

      Reply

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the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
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