coming up for air

May 22, 2015 at 12:32 pm 1 comment

holy crap. it’s been a long time since i’ve written. i’ve had lulls in my posting regularity before but i think this might be my biggest break. i’m not even sure where to begin to catch up … with you or with me, myself and i.

i suppose i’ll start with the abridged version of the race report i could have and should have written after iron horse. this might be better anyway. all the hoopla and lead up i could have shared would have come down to one simple statement … i DNF’d the 100k. but the race director is one of those that let’s you drop down and still get a finish for a shorter race so i finished the 50 mile distance. with a PR of one minute and 19 seconds mind you. i was upset. mad at myself for not pushing through. irritated that i was running the race of my life up until about mile 35 when suddenly everything went downhill fast. my knees were shot and this stupid nagging pain started shooting through my ankle. i tried. i walked. i cried. i caved. come to find out my talus bone was rotated backwards. so i suppose i had valid reason to be in pain but i still kick myself in the ass for not pushing through to get that buckle.

i’ll throw blame though … it was the trainers fault! he was way too amazing as support and crew. too willing and able to walk the entire damn thing with me if i had wanted to (he did the last five with me). but most of all, way too warm and comforting and the desire to walk 12 more miles in the cold was quickly masked by the desire to crawl into the cozy race bed he had built for us in the back of his element. yup … all his fault 😉 running has been sporadic since then. the chiro popped the talus back but my knees took awhile to fully recover. and i no doubt need to drop the pesky seven pounds of happiness i’ve gained the last few months, but i’m getting there.

yes, i am happy. ridiculously giddy gaga happy. i’m dumbfounded everyday by things with the trainer. things are so good that … wait for it … he is moving in with us! in some way already has. but we’re actually in the process of redoing some things in the house i own out in the ‘view that has been tenant occupied for the last four years. new paint ~ inside and out. new floors in all the bedrooms. and what unexpectedly has turned into a renovated kitchen complete with new cabinets, granite and appliances. on one hand, i’m freaked. i haven’t lived with, or even wanted to live with anyone other than my kid in almost 13 years. but somehow it all makes perfect sense.

so yes, i’m happy. but i’m also a disaster. the past few weeks we’ve been in limbo. living out of boxes and on camping chairs with half our stuff here and the other half there. we’ve been battling contractors and robbing peter to pay paul. i don’t do disarray well. not at all. i’ve probably cried more in the past two weeks than i’ve cried in the last two years simply over things like counter-top clutter and a missing pair of shoes. i’ve probably crossed the line into crazy-psycho-over-emotional chick territory … but i have no doubt that we are building a beautiful home together.

there’s so much more to share ~ including that my kid got her learner’s permit and my mother’s cancer may be back ~ but i’m going to have to ease back into this writing thing.

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Entry filed under: 40-something single, relationships. Tags: , , , .

life, love and the pursuit of a buckle the long way home

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. kitkat1126  |  June 18, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    I miss your writing – but then – I can’t really talk!

    I find with any big changes, especially when it comes to moving, I tend to cry more. I wonder if some of the tears around clutter and missing shoes are more a little side effect of (while still exciting and awesome) change/fear/etc. all at once.

    Most importantly though, I am so, so, so happy for you. For years now you know how closely I’ve read and followed your blog, and you found the guy! The one who was able to tear down your walls, meet your expectations, and is clearly making you so happy. I’m just so happy for you ❤ 🙂

    Reply

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the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39

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