Posts filed under ‘life’

price adjustment

we didn’t get the house. three bidders and we lost due to the need for contingency on the sale of mine. but but but … we got an even better house! that i LOVE! the location is unbelievable. two miles from mini-me’s school, half a mile from the bay run and a quick ride across the bridge to the weedon trails. the french doors out to the half-screened, half-open patio with a beautiful old tree in the middle and built-in benches are begging to be open in the cooler weather while the dogs romp in the huge back yard. and the character of a 1950’s bungalow fits us far better than the cookie cutter stucco of florida suburbia hell. i was so worried about losing this one i made an offer before mini and the trainer even stepped inside. thankfully, a few days later when they finally did, they loved it as much as i did.

now the juggle begins. our lives packed in PODS this weekend. mini to her dad’s and the trainer and i to denver on tuesday for a week. and we come back homeless. a temporary sarasota stay until we close on the new house on the 23rd. thanksgiving week. i figured the holiday would buy me a few days of unpacking and unwinding.

to say i’m a disaster right now is an understatement. chaos doesn’t suit me well. and the fact that we just did this a few months ago feels like really bad deja vu. but this time i’m excited about the destination. this time i feel like i’m going home.

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October 27, 2015 at 9:57 am Leave a comment

homeless

after a mere nine days on the market, i accepted an offer on my house yesterday morning. for exactly what we expected.  incredible … yes! scary … hell yes! mostly because we now find ourselves in quite the predicament. the guy who bought mine wants to move quickly. as in end-of-the-month-close quickly. realistically, the realtor, who is unofficially helping me on the sell side, has filled us in on new laws that make a close that quick unlikely. but regardless, they want to push through as fast as possible.

so, we went to make an offer on the house we’ve had our eye on for the last couple of weeks. and lo and behold it already had an offer on it. but they hadn’t accepted yet and agreed to keep the table open for ours … and the third person who suddenly expressed interest as well. so now we find ourselves in a bidding war with a final decision supposed to made tomorrow evening.

best case, we win. but even then the chance of us closing as quickly as my buyer is slim to none. worst case, we lose. either way, we’ll be homeless. be it for a couple weeks or a couple months. we’ll make it work. stuff will go in storage. mini-me can stay with her dad. and i’ll commute up from the training house down south. an hour drive each way which won’t be fun but a temporary nuisance for a longterm solution!

I’m excited. i’m nervous. i’m totally freaking out. but i also trust it will all work out the way it’s supposed to. but cross your fingers for me just in case it helps!

October 14, 2015 at 11:45 am Leave a comment

music is love in search of a word

for the last few years, i’ve picked a single word leading into the new year to best define what i want from the months ahead. not a resolution per se. i don’t believe in making some halfhearted promise to myself that is bound to vanish with little to no care. but a as a writer, i love the concept and how i can use one simple word to guide my actions.

last year my word was gravity. a need to stay grounded in the present versus the obsessive ten-steps-ahead planning i tend to falling victim to. living in the moment wasn’t always easy for me but no doubt i found myself paying more attention to and trying to curtail my need to look so far ahead. it may sound silly but i even added a few songs that incorporate the word gravity to a playlist that i found myself listening to whenever i needed a reminder.

as i have each year, i’ve put a lot of thought into my word for 2015. i’ve changed direction. i’ve questioned my choice. i’ve tried not to let the last month of a new relationship play a factor in my decision but truth be told, it has to. because i have no doubt he’ll be around for much, if not all, of this year. it’s no secret i’m incredibly independent. i don’t see myself as hiding behinds walls or insecure with who i am. quite the opposite actually. but i struggle with letting anyone play a consistent part of my life. and not just personally. even professionally i tend to find myself in positions where i do it all. projects from point A to point Z with little to no need to rely on others. but even that is going to change this year as i transition into a new role. though i know i would be just fine going it alone, ultimately i don’t want to. don’t think we are meant to. so that said, i knew my word for 2015 had to define a level of sharing, unity, teamwork and togetherness.

a fact few know about me … my first major in college was vocal performance. music has always been a part of my world though stage fright and a lack of confidence in my voice have limited it to background noise. the trainer (as i’ll call my new guy) also was is a musician though his drums are currently buried in his garage. but when he aimlessly taps out a beat on my leg while we’re driving. or when he belts out random lyrics of a song he’s listening to while in the shower. i can’t help but smile and remember the beauty of music and the happiness it brings to my world.

my life, for years, has been a melody. strong. able to stand alone. but a melody can sound empty and almost lonesome when compared to that which includes the balance … the counterpart …

the harmony. so here’s to 2015. a year in which i will embrace the added dimensions that harmony can bring to my life.

January 6, 2015 at 1:17 pm 1 comment

catching up

i knew it had been awhile since i’d written but a month??? really? damn i guess time flies when you’re having fun. not that there’s been anything exceptionally fun in my life the last few weeks. well besides the fact that i turned another year older on june 17th. twenty nine years old … again! and again and again and … ah hell. fine! i’m 42. but i maintain i’m like a fine wine and i just get better with age 😉

for the most part, things are good. I’ve been running some decent mileage. nothing extreme but a couple weekends ago a 20 for the fun of it and last friday 17. with weekly averages in the upper 20s to low 30s. i keep telling myself i should cut back a bit before training really kicks in but things just don’t feel normal if a saturday doesn’t include a double digit jaunt through the woods. i did break my no summer racing plans and register for a race this coming satuday. i couldn’t resist! it’s a brand new event  called moon over croom on some of my favorite trails. with seven, 14 and 21 mile options i, no surprise, chose 21. it’s a night race put on by andyM with a total field cap of 100 runners complete with a full moon and with any luck fireflies 🙂 how could i resist!

i also finally broke in the new mountain bike! i couldn’t find anyone to go with me so i decided to just suck it up and go on my own. which i’ve done twice now! i think it’s pretty safe to say i’m hooked! which i knew i would be.

 

a different view

familiar trails. new view.

 

rider

rider

work has been busy! we’ve got some serious projects with crazy tight deadlines but it’s awesome. my boss put me as lead on a highly visible program so i’ve been busting my ass getting ready to launch a new marketing campaign late next week. i’ve been here more than two months now and the honeymoon period still hasn’t ended. it’s so amazing to find a job where you know you belong.

as for life, love and the pursuit of happiness things have been quiet. the iceman showed up at my birthday party but we really didn’t spend much time together. we’ve pretty much drifted to minimal surface communication and i’m ok with that. and i will admit, even though i’m sure i’ll get shit for it, that i went out with the hunter a couple weeks ago. not at his beckoning but at mine. we had gone back and forth a few times about risk versus reward of meeting for drinks and he kept getting cold feet so i took control of the situation. surprisingly it was a really fun night. drinks. pool. catching up. but it really came as no surprise to me at this point that i had no remorse, regrets or rekindled emotions about where we are and where we aren’t going. i love him. and told him as much. but i’m not in love with him anymore and i know without a doubt we don’t belong together.

so that’s life the last month. there is some big race news that i need to share but it requires a post of its own so i’ll write about it soon.

 

July 10, 2014 at 2:38 pm 1 comment

letting it go

i’ve spent the last couple of weeks angry. angry at the “someone” (who i’m going to call the iceman going forward). angry at my mother. angry at my brother. and most of all angry at myself. it’s a horrible way to live so i’m choosing to let it all go. anger is not an emotion i fall victim to often. i find it virtually useless and it eats away at the soul. i can no more change someone else’s behaviors than i can change the color of the sky. but i can change the way i react to those behaviors. so as i let go of the anger and negativity i’m going to once again reflect on some of the awesomeness that is my world.

today is mini-me’s last day of middle school. holy crap i’ll have a high schooler. as freaked out as i am, i am so incredibly proud of her. she made the decision to not go to our (very highly ranked) districted public school but applied for and got into our school option for an international baccalaureate program. it’s not going to be easy. but she wants it and conceivably if she does things right she could graduate high school with her first year of college complete.

can i just say again how much i love my new job?! i’m part of an amazing team and truly enjoy being here every day. yes, i would still prefer to win the lotto and travel all over running ultras but if i have to earn a living, this is a pretty damn great way to do it.

i seriously have some awesome friends. last night i went for dinner and drinks with “my bitches”. my two besties from my old neighborhood. two-for-one margaritas and more laughs than i’ve had in a long time. i needed it!

tres locas

tres locas

and last but not least … about an hour ago i went to a nearby bike store that’s going out of business on my lunch break. went in for a new bike rack for the jeep. came out with this 🙂

mountain bike

time to hit the trails!

 

 

June 6, 2014 at 12:59 pm 2 comments

the good. the bad. and the ugly.

so the “happy” posts didn’t last long huh? it’s not that there hasn’t been great experiences to my weeks. the manatee that swam between me and a friend at the beach last weekend and let me pet him was pretty frickin’ amazing. and this weekend’s 2 a.m. brick workout with the wingman was awesome even though the hoped meter shower viewing never materialized. and my solo kayak adventure and afternoon trail runs have been invigorating and empowering in ways i needed to find inside myself again. so i’m trying to stay focused on those moments. those highs that counteract the crap.

but things with the new “someone” hit a bump. a wall really. turns out he’s still recovering from a bad relationship. one in which he was incredibly close to her kids who he’s now lost. and one in which he was cheated on for months. he thought he was ready to move forward. but he’s far from it. seriously how do i find these men?! i’m a magnet for the emotionally unavailable! hopefully we can step back to being friends ~ our plan ~ because i really do like him and enjoy spending time with him and think the feeling is mutual. is there still a potential of building a friendship that could lead to more … yeah, i think so. but i can’t go in banking on that. problem is i know me and if i’m not careful i’ll push him away and shut down completely. something i truly don’t want to do.

to make matters more difficult, the hunter continues to throw fuel on the fire. again telling me he thinks he’s finally learned enough about himself to realize exactly who he wants and needs in his life. that he’s sorry for the way he handled things between us. i’m oddly emotionless about the entire exchange. if true, i think it sad, but i have trouble believing his emotional revelations are anything more than a desire to keep from being alone as his current relationship ends.

but really things are good. and i need to remember that. the new job is still incredible. and it’s amazing how simply cruising in the jeep with the top off can make me feel so alive! i love it. love love love. so i’m going to keep trying to share the positive in my weeks but somehow for me i can’t just sugar coat my posts. life is full of good, bad and ugly. and i am far better when writing about it all.

 

May 27, 2014 at 10:42 am Leave a comment

because i’m happy

i’m going to try and keep up the happy posts. the all things good that were my week. my goal is to write these on sunday evenings but somehow yesterday got away from me. better late than never though right?

mother’s day this year was nothing extraordinary. i didn’t get breakfast in bed (maybe because mini-me can’t cook at all! lol) nor did i get wined and dined at my favorite restaurant. i cooked. i cleaned. it was by most accounts a typical sunday with the exception of the spring skating show mini-me’s rink ridiculously scheduled on mother’s day! but truth be told i really didn’t need anything more. a quiet morning with us both laying in my bed reading. watching her skate her flashdance program with new freestyle four technicals added. chipotle takeout over a couple episodes of lost (our addiction). even the average day with her makes me a damn lucky mom and i truly took the time yesterday to remind myself how much i love being a mom!

sometimes the things that make me happy aren’t even about me. this week red got the job offer she’s been holding her breath over. and the NYC girl and her sister made up over tears and crab legs. hearing their happiness was contagious!

saturday i had some very unexpected communication from the hunter. much to my surprise, he lay feelings on the line. told me he wonders if he made a mistake. that he misses me. and thinks about me often. in the past hearing from him would have been met with one of two emotions from me ~ anger or sadness. but this time i basically forgave and wished him luck. and when he asked me if i would meet for drinks to talk, i didn’t hesitate to say no and to tell him i recently started seeing someone. and it felt good. not in an “i win. in your face.” kind of way. but simply in realizing how far i’ve come.

and speaking of that “someone” it was another week of getting to know and continuing to like. it was meeting the dragon and re-meeting his best friends. i’m still not ready to share details. i feel like i jinx things when i do. but it’s good.

and i’m happy.

 

May 12, 2014 at 12:06 pm 6 comments

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the best of times

5k pr ~ 24:23
10k pr ~ 52:49
half marathon pr ~ 1:55:10
marathon pr ~ 4:10:41
half ironman pr ~ 5:57:50
50k pr ~ 5:33:23
50-mile pr ~ 11:32:39

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